Root them.
Then boot them.

Root-n-Boot™ is the new way to meet someone, do the thing, and be home in time for the ad break.

Root around the main site →

Tired of small talk?

Forty-five minutes of “so what do you do?” before anything happens?
The awkward “I’ll call you” (spoiler: you won’t)?
Explaining your star sign to a stranger?
Someone who stays for breakfast and has opinions about your fridge?

INTRODUCING ROOT-N-BOOT™

Artist’s impression of two consenting adults(Boots not shown. Boots are implied.)

But wait, there’s more!

Swipe-free. Feelings-free. Fridge-opinion-free.
No awkward morning after. We’ve already booked the Uber.
Fully reversible, like most of your decisions
Every match includes a polite exit line, in your voice
We will never ask for your photo, your details, or a second date

Not $29.95 a month.

Not free.

Not a real app. Yet.

Operators are standing by.
(They’re not.)

Root around the main site →

Root-n-Boot is a parody website and not a real dating or hook-up service. We do not collect your details, and nobody has been rooted or booted. Please be kind, please consent, please call your mum.

Tired of small talk?

INTRODUCING ROOT-N-BOOT™

But wait, there’s more!

Operators are standing by.(They’re not.)

Operators are standing by.
(They’re not.)